Shove it where?

I want a new job.
It's beyond obvious I suck at mine.
In fact, I'm pretty sure the only reason they're keeping me is because I dont steal things and I'm one of the very few people in Vancouver awake at 3AM and not on drugs.

I'm one of the smallest merchandisers in the store, therefore putting me at a disadvantage of moving heavy things.
I'm also bored sick out of my mind.
I hate every job I have. It's not that I hate working; something inside me just doesnt want to comply or 'grow up'.

I lost about nine years of my life to a drug addiction, so most of the time, my little teenage ass was either in a detox facility, or Juvie.
We always complied to whatever we were set to do.
Whether it be cleaning, taking classes, or generally trying not to fuck up.
Upon getting my first job out of lock up, I was incredibly loyal.
That loyalty was betrayed. The higher ups played on my fears and low self-esteem to manipulate my availability.
In the end, I was the one who ended up in the hospital.

SO NOW I work in a Drugstore.
Trying to find some way to get my act together without falling apart.